Where and when do you lose yourself?

We don't start with your past, but with what you today does.

When does your attention shift from yourself to the other person? When do you say yes even though something inside you is saying no? When do you start worrying, trying to solve problems, adapting yourself, or trying to do the right thing?

You'll learn to recognize how your pattern manifests itself in your thoughts, behavior, and body.

Among other things, we are investigating:

• what your "please," "fix," or "adjust" pattern looks like;
• which situations and relationships trigger the pattern;
• what happens in your body when you start to abandon yourself;
• how you automatically react to stress, rejection, or conflict;
• what you're trying to prevent or preserve by adapting;
• As you may have noticed earlier: Here we go again.

The goal isn't to change your routine right away.

First, we learn to recognize it as it happens.

Why did fitting become so important in the first place?

Once you start to recognize what Whatever you do, the question naturally arises: Why am I doing this, anyway?

We explore how your early experiences and your family system have shaped the way you’ve learned to deal with closeness, needs, boundaries, responsibility, and connection.

Perhaps you learned early on to be considerate of others. To be strong. Not to be a burden. To keep the peace. To take care of someone. Or, above all, not to need too much.

Among other things, we are investigating:

• the role you played in your family of origin;
• implicit and explicit messages you picked up;
• the roles and responsibilities you took on;
• loyalties within your family system;
• what you needed as a child but may not have received enough of;
• how old protection strategies continue to have an impact today.

In doing so, we use techniques such as systemic work, body-oriented exercises, and working with younger parts of yourself.

Not to blame your parents or your past. And not to endlessly search for the cause, either.

It does, however, help you understand why a pattern that’s holding you back today might once have made perfect sense.

What happens when you're allowed to turn your attention back to yourself?

If you've been used to sensing what the other person is feeling for a long time, a simple question can become surprisingly difficult:

What do I actually want?

We slow down and bring our attention back to your body. There, we learn to listen to the subtle signals that are often already present before your mind has come up with an answer.

Among other things, we are investigating:

• physical signs of tension, relaxation, attraction, and resistance;
• the difference between reacting automatically and truly feeling;
• what you need and how to recognize it;
• taking your desires seriously without having to act on them right away;
• your personal space;
• how you can physically sense a "yes," "no," "maybe," or "not yet";
• Recognize your limits before you go way beyond them.

You don't have to know right away what you want.

There is also room for doubt and uncertainty.

Slowly, a different starting point is emerging:

not first “What does the other person need?”

but:

“What’s happening inside me?”

Can you stay true to yourself when you're actually face to face with someone else?

Feeling a need when you're alone is different from expressing that need to someone who might want something else.

That's why we're highlighting what you've discovered about yourself more and more in a relationship.

We’re exploring how your attachment patterns become apparent in your interactions with others. What do you do when someone gets closer to you? Pulls away? Gets disappointed? Doesn’t respond right away? Needs something from you?

Among other things, we are investigating:

• different attachment styles and how to recognize which one applies to you;
• closeness and distance;
• your need for validation or, conversely, your tendency to withdraw;
• "pleasing" and codependent patterns in relationships;
• what happens when your needs clash with someone else's;
• set boundaries and remain present during the response to them;
• tolerating differences without losing yourself or the other person;
• giving, receiving, asking, and setting boundaries.

Here, the group itself is becoming increasingly important.

Because it is precisely through genuine connection that a new experience can arise:

You don't have to want the same things I do to stay connected.

What happens when you truly choose yourself?

Feeling a boundary is one thing.

Acting on it can evoke something entirely different.

Guilt when you say no. Shame when you reveal yourself. Fear of being seen as selfish. The tendency to explain yourself after the fact or to reverse your decision when someone reacts with disappointment.

That is exactly where the old pattern can become particularly powerful.

Among other things, we are investigating:

• feelings of guilt when you choose yourself;
• shame surrounding needs, desires, and visibility;
• the fear of disappointing someone;
• making yourself smaller to maintain a connection;
• taking responsibility without assuming responsibility;
• the difference between healthy responsibility and old guilt;
• stay true to yourself when the other person doesn't like your choice;
• Take up space without having to make yourself seem bigger or smaller.

The goal isn't for you to never feel guilt, shame, or anxiety again.

The key is that those feelings no longer have to automatically determine what you do.

Who are you when the old pattern no longer has to call the shots all the time?

You won't receive a certificate upon completing *Your True Nature* “No more pleasing”.

You'll probably still find yourself trying to fit in, second-guessing yourself, or saying "yes" too quickly.

The difference lies elsewhere.

You notice it sooner. You recognize what’s happening. You can return to your body. You have a better sense of what belongs to you and what belongs to the other person. And you have more and more choice in what you do next.

So we’re bringing together everything you’ve discovered over the course of the year:

• which patterns you've become better at recognizing;
• which signals from your body you've come to recognize;
• what you've discovered about your needs and boundaries;
• how your experience of relationships and connection has changed;
• which old strategies still resurface regularly;
• what helps you reconnect with yourself;
• which choices are more in line with who you are;
• how you want to proceed after the training session.

As a result, the question is slowly shifting from:

“How do I break this pattern?”

to:

“How do I want to live when my boss no longer has to make decisions for me automatically?”

That's not the end.

It's up to you to decide which path to take from here.