In this blog, I'll take you through my personal therapeutic journey.
As a body-oriented therapist, I work with others every day on patterns, trauma, and inner freedom—but I, too, am still on this journey. Time and again, I’m invited to discover new layers within myself. I love to share what I discover, because I believe that my story might resonate with you as well.
During my session with Erik, I felt very clearly: I want to explore the issue with my mother. Why does that connection remain so intensely palpable, even when I put physical distance between us? Why can’t I truly let go? I’ve felt for a while now that I need some distance to step more firmly into my power, but it seems as if something is constantly pulling me back. As if I’m not allowed to leave.
What came up during the session was the deeply symbiotic relationship I had to form with my mother as a child—that intimate, almost inseparable bond. A survival strategy that was necessary at the time, but which now hinders my freedom. As a child, autonomy wasn’t an option—it felt life-threatening. I had to be there for her needs, and my own sense of self had to take a back seat. My father, who was emotionally absent, didn’t provide me with a safe space where I could be myself either.
And yet…
What really touched me during the session was that it wasn’t actually about my mother. Not at that moment. The real shift happened when I let my father in—his support, his presence, his nurturing. And something inside me realized: Maybe I need to first enter into a symbiotic relationship with my father in order to break free from the symbiotic relationship with my mother.
That thought came as a shock, but also as a relief.
Because I notice it in my daily life: a part of me wants to move forward. Wants to be seen. To stand in my power. But at the same time, there’s something holding me back. Something slamming on the brakes. That constant inner struggle—one foot on the gas, the other on the brake—it drains so much of my energy. And I don’t want that anymore.
I long for peace within that movement. For true autonomy. But also: for a deep, secure connection.
During that session, I felt how essential it is to be fully accepted—in everything that I am: my vulnerability and my strength, my light and my shadow. To be allowed to be present with everything that arises—without holding back, without feeling ashamed, without censoring myself.
I got to experience what it's really like to meet To be seen—by Erik, but on a deeper level, by my father. To be seen, felt, and heard. Not only in what I show, but also in what I hide. And to be fully accepted for who I am.
That is exactly what is so healing.
That I'm allowed to be here. Completely.
Do you also feel that inner tension between symbiosis and autonomy?
Do you sometimes feel torn between wanting to grow and holding yourself back? Between strength and hesitation?
You don’t have to do this alone. In my one-on-one sessions, workshops, or programs, I’d love to guide you on your journey toward greater freedom, strength, and connection with your true self.
👉 Schedule your free introductory consultation here
👉 Or explore my range of body-oriented therapies and growth programs at the listings page
