Pitfall
Last Saturday, it was that time again. Time to go grocery shopping. For many people, it’s a no-brainer. For highly sensitive people—like myself—not so much. It’s often a challenge to stay centered and not get overstimulated or overwhelmed by my surroundings, which causes my energy levels to plummet and makes me lose touch with myself a little.
I ran out of energy before I even realized it. As a result, I felt less connected to myself and to my partner. This, in turn, triggers him, causing him to lose his connection as well, and it becomes very difficult to reconnect.
My partner often notices before I do when I'm pushing myself too hard and running the risk of burning out.
Sometimes I don’t realize it until I’m right in the middle of it, or afterward, when I can reflect on the situation. So I notice too late when I’ve pushed myself past my limits and I’ve run out of energy. I do manage to get back on track, but by then “the damage” (to our connection) has already been done, and it takes a long conversation—and quite a bit more—to reconnect with my partner.
What is high sensitivity?
Being highly sensitive—also known as an HSP (highly sensitive person)—is a personality trait, not an illness or disorder. It simply means that you’re more sensitive than most people. Your nervous system works more intensely, which makes you more sensitive. It works overtime, so to speak, causing you to become easily overstimulated or overwhelmed.
About 20% of the population appears to be highly sensitive. This is often innate and genetically determined. Sometimes it can be further intensified by your upbringing, your environment, or a traumatic event.
Internally, you are more sensitive to emotions, pain, pleasure, and other mental and physical sensations. Externally, you have particularly sensitive senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch), which make you more sensitive to visual impressions.
(e.g., light and dark), sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile stimuli (e.g., touch).
In addition, you often take in more of your surroundings. You scan your environment, as it were, to check if it’s safe, which makes you more aware of the details and possible scenarios that a given environment presents. This makes you more alert to potential dangers and more inclined to think through and assess situations.
Some characteristics of high sensitivity
Below are a few characteristics of high sensitivity. There are others; this is not an exhaustive list. Perhaps you recognize yourself in one or more of these characteristics?
- You are aware of subtle cues in your surroundings.
- You are influenced by other people's moods.
- On busy days, you feel a greater need to withdraw.
- It's easy to become overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or loud sirens.
- You have a rich and complex inner world of experience.
- You try very hard to prevent mistakes from being made or to make sure you don't forget anything.
- You feel uncomfortable when there's a lot going on around you.
- Being very hungry can have a significant impact on your ability to concentrate or your mood.
- You have a keen sense of subtle scents, flavors, sounds, and works of art; you enjoy them and can be deeply moved by them.
Source: Wikipedia
If you want to know whether you, too, are highly sensitive, you can take the self-test on the HSP Vlaanderen website.
Using High Sensitivity as a Strength
As a highly sensitive person, those around you—family, friends, coworkers, etc.—may view you as shy and reserved. They find you somewhat distant, not very assertive, and less sociable. This is actually the result of a necessary adaptation to your innate high sensitivity, which requires you to be more cautious in how you interact with yourself and those around you.
You yourself may view your high sensitivity more as a burden than a blessing. The fact that you’re more sensitive than most people and your nervous system is constantly working overtime means you become overstimulated and overwhelmed more easily than someone who isn’t highly sensitive.
However, you can also use your high sensitivity as a strength in your life. After all, it means you have a great capacity for empathy and, in a quiet environment, you can absorb information better than average, which gives you a keener eye for details and nuances. If you’re aware of your high sensitivity, you can adjust your lifestyle accordingly, allowing you to use it as a positive quality and a strength in your daily life.
Furthermore, as a highly sensitive person, you possess a number of qualities that you can highlight, both in your personal life and at work. You are conscientious, meticulous, dedicated, loyal, precise, punctual, careful, quality-oriented, and have a deep understanding of people and processes.
A few tips and tricks for turning high sensitivity into a strength
Create a nourishing morning routine:
- meditate
- Do yoga or stretching exercises
- Set your intention for the day
- A healthy and nutritious breakfast is beneficial
- Take a refreshing shower
Get plenty of rest:
- get enough sleep
- Schedule rest periods and breaks throughout the day
- Take a power nap
Schedule some "me time":
- Make sure to set aside time for yourself to recharge and avoid feeling overwhelmed
- Take a walk in nature: a garden, park, forest, heath, or beach
- read a relaxing book
- Listen to soothing music
Avoid crowded places:
- Try to avoid crowds and large groups of people as much as possible
- Some examples: busy cities, festivals, traffic jams, crowded (shopping) streets or (shopping) centers
Be aware of your body:
- Follow your breath
- Breathe a little deeper and more fully
- Scan your body from head to toe and describe the sensations you feel
- Feel your feet on the ground
Find a good balance between your perfectionism and your creativity:
- make mistakes
- Set your boundaries
- Don't worry about what others think
- Do something creative, like writing, drawing, or singing
Adjust your mindset to reflect who you want to be:
- Identify old (limiting) beliefs, feelings of inferiority, resistance, and mental blocks
- Work on this through coaching or therapy
- Try to feel more instead of thinking
- Step out of your comfort zone and try something new
What can you do now?
Just know that you can work on this together with me.
Since I’m an expert by experience, I have plenty of tips, tricks, and techniques I can teach you so you can use your high sensitivity as a strength rather than seeing it as a pitfall.
And yes, as you read at the beginning of this blog, I, too, sometimes feel overstimulated and overwhelmed. It remains an ongoing focus and does require some self-awareness, but rest assured, you can work on this step by step with me so that your high sensitivity becomes a strength.
1 Comment(s), leave a comment too!
Hey Tuur, it's too bad the distance is so great. I can relate to your blog and the struggles you've described. Keep searching for balance. It's good to hear that there might be solutions.
Best regards, Birgit